E128: Alignment is a Conversation (What it really feels like)

Most people think alignment feels like clarity, certainty, or a perfectly mapped-out five-year plan.

It doesn’t.

Alignment feels like recognition.

In this episode, Kimberly breaks down what it actually means to be “in alignment” — and why it feels less like control and more like conversation. If you’ve ever wondered how to know when you’re aligned, how to trust your decisions again, or what divine timing really means, this episode will shift your perspective.

You’ll learn:

• The 4 components of being in conversation with your life
 • How awareness changes your results
 • Why overthinking is often disguised control
 • What coherence feels like in real time
 • How to rebuild trust in yourself after a decision that didn’t pan out
 • Why alignment feels calm — not chaotic

Through personal stories about finances, business investments, mentorship, and self-trust, Kimberly explains how alignment isn’t mystical or reserved for “lucky” people.

It’s earned.

It’s preparation meeting recognition.

And the more emotionally mature and strategically clear you become, the more often you’ll say:

“Of course.”

If you’re ready to stop forcing outcomes and start recognizing the conversation your life is already having with you — this episode is for you.

Time/Energy Audit: https://youtu.be/v3hd4MCSVc8

Transcript

Kimberly Houston (00:01.484)

Most people think alignment feels like clarity, like certainty, or like a five-year plan. But that's actually not what it feels like. Alignment feels like recognition. It feels like something unexpected happens. And instead of instantly panicking, you say, course that happened. What if alignment isn't about controlling the outcome? What if it's about becoming the version of you

who naturally matches the opportunities that show up. What if divine timing isn't actually mystical, but relational? And here's the truth, when alignment, when you're in alignment, your life starts responding to who you've become. Alignment looks like being in conversation with your life. And today I want to kind of break this down for you because one of the things that's been happening

As I'm coaching my one-on-one clients, it's that people have asked me, well, how do you know when you're in alignment? You seem to be in alignment all the time. How do I know when I've arrived? And so I want to break that down for you..

Kimberly Houston (01:27.886)

So the way I consider alignment is that you are in conversation with your life and I've broken this down into four different components. So the first component is awareness. Whenever people talk to me and we're talking about being in alignment, I am very aware

of the things happening in my life. I am paying attention. My life isn't just happening to me. I have a belief that I co-create my life with the universe, right? So I'm not passively allowing things to just happen in my life. So the first component of this is awareness. That means that you are paying attention. You notice patterns. You're tracking energy, your energy and the people around you.

you recognize themes that are repeating in your life and the themes could be lessons. It could be signs that you need to stop hanging out with who you're hanging out with. Like things just keep happening to you and whenever someone tells me in a coaching call, this stuff just keeps happening to me. I always sit back and say, at what point are you going to respond in a different way to it? Because that means you are not being aware

of what is causing the things to continue to happen in your life. So the first part of this is awareness. The second part is response. So when life presents something, you respond thoughtfully instead of reactively. It is very, very rare, super minimal, maybe less than 1 % of the time that I am going to panic. That's not happening. Number two.

overthinking. This is a big one with people who are in coaching with me and sometimes I find myself guilty of this is that I'm overthinking the outcome or overthinking a result, right? But overthinking is a symptom of control.

Kimberly Houston (03:33.983)

overthinking is you trying to control things that you have no control over. Okay? When you reframe overthinking in your mind from preparedness or being ready to handle anything and everything, you realize that you are a control freak and you really can't control other people. You can only control you. So coming up with

multiple ways something can happen, throwing yourself into a spiral isn't actually helpful. The response, this came out of nowhere.

isn't really something I focus on. The reframe that I have for that one is, does this fit who I'm becoming? I'll give you a quick example of this. Over the last, it kind of started in January. I saw this a couple of weeks ago where there was a charge on my debit card and I was like, know I didn't make this. But it was just one, right? It was just one and it was a small amount and I disputed it and then I won.

December, I ordered a gift. The gift never showed up. I reached out to the company. The company was unhelpful. So I ended up having to file a claim with the bank. I won it because I never got it. So that's December, January. It is now February. Last week, random charge showed up on the account, small amount. I disputed it.

I woke up this morning to someone trying to take $3,000 out of my account.

Kimberly Houston (05:21.002)

Now, me being like this came out of nowhere, all of those things were seemingly insignificant and they don't make any sense. So yeah, that did come out of nowhere or did it? Does this fit who I'm becoming? Prior to all of this happening at the end of last year, I made a declaration that I was ready to like really, really start studying finances and studying wealth, not budgeting, but like wealth.

How do I make my money make money? So I wanted to know about investing. I wanted to know about REITs. I wanted to know about stocks and what things I should be investing in as a business owner. And one of the things that happened was I joined a program that is teaching me about finances. And one of the recommendations was a very specific bank account. And I've known this since the beginning of December. Okay.

And I was like, I'll get to it, I'll get to it, I'll get to it. December, there is an issue. January, there's an issue. And now February, there's an issue. And so as I'm looking at the fact that I have had my bank account for well over 20 years at this bank, this is the first bank account I ever had. I've not had any issues like this, but now three months in a row, I have had to dispute things.

to the point that I have like no debit cards now because they've turned everything off. It looks like I am being a fraudulent person, but the reality is is that I knew at the top of December that I needed to move banks and I didn't. And so the mindset shift for me when I saw that this morning was, well, of course, of course this is happening because I knew almost 90 days ago.

that I needed to move banks. And now the security that I felt that I had at this bank for the last 25, 30 years of my life, I no longer feel like I have it, right? Which forces me to do what? Move to the bank that I was recommended to a couple of months ago. And so while I could say, this came out of nowhere, I could also say,

Kimberly Houston (07:41.753)

does this fit the version of me that I'm becoming? The person who I desire to become would have a very different type of bank account at a very different bank. And so that's kind of how that reframe goes, right? So how do you respond to stimuli, negative stimuli in your life? I could have responded, I believe that old Kimberly would have gone off and been like super upset and it would have ruined my day, but I looked at that.

I shut everything down in the way I needed to really quickly. And then I went, OK, it's time for us to move into this next era of life. So that's number two response. Then number three, coherence. When we are talking about alignment, this is about coherence. So your internal growth will begin to match your external opportunities. Your decisions.

create your standards.

So when we're looking at your internal growth, your external opportunities, your decisions and your standards, these four things are running neck and neck with one another. When you make a decision to do something, it requires a different version of you to show up. And when you show up differently, then external opportunities will begin to show up for you. The universe will begin to give you the things, even things you didn't necessarily

ask for, but things that are in direct alignment with where you're going will begin happening. When you make decisions that are favorable to the person you are becoming, your standards increase. But all of these things are happening in tandem. So how do you know when your internal growth, your external opportunities, your decisions and your standards are all coming together? It feels calm. It feels obvious.

Kimberly Houston (09:42.413)

and it feels earned. One of the things that I have been kind of like going with in my brain is I was asked to mentor someone and I was like, okay, sure. You know, not a big deal. I do mentorship, that's fine. And as I was thinking about it, I didn't really ask a lot of questions. The person who asked me to do this, I trust them. And so I didn't really need a lot of information.

They also wanted me to make up my own mind about how I felt about this situation and or about the person that they wanted me to meet. And I said, okay, fine, I'll go do it. And one of the things that I realized was this one very specific ask.

has opened up other opportunities that are in direct alignment with the version of myself I wanted to become five years ago.

I have been doing the work for a very long time to refine, reframe, becoming this elevated version of self. And there is something very specific that I wanted to do. And this ask allows me to do that very specific thing, but it has opened up opportunities to do this very specific thing.

on such an exponential level that I was like, wow. Now, instead of being shocked about this, that wow was immediately followed with, of course it did. Of course things are working out this way. Of course they are, because I've done the work. My internal growth is now reaping the benefit through external opportunities.

Kimberly Houston (11:43.885)

because I made a decision five years ago to raise my standards of who I am as a business owner, as an entrepreneur, as a woman. And it is now being seen by the people it needs to be seen by in order to allow me to elevate to a new level, right? It feels earned. This does not feel like, my God, what if I don't do well? What if this isn't, you know, they think I can do this, but I can't. No, I can't.

No, quite literally, I can. And when I was asked to do this opportunity, I said, wow, I'm really excited for this young woman to encounter me. And I meant that with my whole chest because I know who I am. I know all the things that I've had to go through to get to this point to help this other person shorten their journey. I know what I bring to the table, right? There is, we're not dealing with imposter syndrome here.

and it doesn't have room in my life. Five years ago, there was definitely imposter syndrome. And I need us to be clear. Imposter syndrome by definition is when you are qualified to do something and you feel like you're not. Imposter syndrome is not you being given opportunities that you're not prepared for. That's not what that is. Imposter syndrome means

you are qualified to do the thing you've been asked to do, but you feel like you're not. I no longer feel that way. I know I'm 100 % I'm actually overqualified to do the thing that has been requested of me. And I'm excited for the young woman who gets to encounter me because I know who I am. And that is going to show up for her. Right? So that's number three, coherence. Now number four is trust.

Trust is not blind faith. It's actually evidence-based confidence. When we talk about trusting other people, trusting ourself, this becomes one of those things you can easily dispel during a spiral. So I'll give you another personal example. I invested in a high ticket coaching program. We spent a year.

Kimberly Houston (14:05.172)

in this very high ticket coaching program. And I don't believe that it was fully worth the amount that we paid for it. Do I believe that I learned things in the coaching program? 100%. Absolutely did. Not denying that at all. Do I believe that we got what we thought we were going to get out of it? No, I do not. And that's a conversation for a different day. But after going through that experience,

and realizing that I made a purchase that felt very, very aligned. I mean, all the stars aligned when I made the purchase.

And then at the end of the program, a year later, I was like, was this actually still aligned? And I began questioning whether or not the decisions I was making were good.

And then I had to very quickly stop the spiral. And I'm going tell you how I stopped the spiral because I think this might help other people to know how I do this. So I made a very large purchase thinking that it was going to like exponentially help me in my business. did not. A lot of the things that actually grow my business are things that I knew prior to that, or are things counter to that situation, which is fine, which is fine.

What I had to do was when we're thinking about can I trust myself? Can I trust myself with making decisions moving forward? And I want to say it was maybe eight to 10 weeks that I was kind of like, I'm not going to make any big decisions. I'm not going to make any big moves because I'm not sure. I don't know. I was feeling some type of way about it. And so I had to ask myself.

Kimberly Houston (16:05.578)

Is it true that I make bad decisions? When you ask yourself that question, your brain will automatically start going to find evidence to support what you just said. And my brain was coming up empty. Actually, it wasn't empty. My brain went and found evidence of previous bad decisions, and they had absolutely nothing to do with my business. Most of them were in my personal life.

and from my early 20s. I don't really know anybody in their early 20s who were making the best decisions about relationships at all times. So once my brain went and found the evidence of things that I considered I shouldn't be able to trust myself in this realm, I was like, wait. Okay. Then I asked myself another question. Is it true that I make great decisions in business?

And moment after moment after moment after moment after moment kept flashing in my brain of all of the things that I have done, of all of the stages I've been on, of all of the people who are on my email list, of all of the people who constantly ask me for coaching services, of all of the people who are like, I met you three years ago, you completely changed my life, of all of the people.

who have been listening to this podcast for many years, right? Have seen the growth and they understand the journey. I was being given moment after moment after moment after moment proving that I can trust myself and make good decisions. I still believe that the decision that I made to invest in that high ticket coaching program was a good one. The relationships that came out of it, phenomenal.

There are new friendships that came out of it and I would have never met these people had I not gone down this particular avenue and journey. I also think that it let me see from a CEO standpoint of things to be cautious of as I grow and scale my business and move to the next level. And so I then had to realize it like, hey, you do make good decisions and you're fine.

Kimberly Houston (18:21.548)

And then once I did that, you know, I was all gas and no brakes and then we started doing all sorts of things, but that was how I stopped the spiral. The fact that it was eight to 10 weeks before I really like tapped in and was like, Hey, what's going on? Shows that I was out of practice. It shows that I

was not as committed and devoted to myself as I have been in the past when it goes to checking in with myself. And I 100 % felt out of alignment. And once I got it together and was like, hey, we're not doing this. You were out of alignment mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, everything was off. I was like, we're not going to do this. And then once I went through that,

and I calculated those things and then I got the evidence and I could prove that no, I made great decisions. Guess what? Everything realigned. Everything realigned. One of the things that I started a year and a half, two years ago maybe was I got a plant and my plant's name is Abbey that is short for abundance. And the reason I got the plant was that I wanted to be able to see a physical manifestation or physical representation of how I feel in life. And so

whenever Abby is like, all the leaves are going down, she looks like she's dying, I have neglected to check in with my plant. And because I have neglected to check in with my plant, that also means I probably haven't checked in with myself. Because when I am watering myself, when I am nourishing myself, I also automatically nourish my plant. And so that was one of the things that I put in place for myself.

to be able to say, you haven't been checking in with yourself. And I can assure you that during that time that I wasn't checking in with myself, my plant was not flourishing. My plant was not flourishing. And now she is. Because we are now checking in with her. And the more I check in with her, the more I check in with myself. Right? 

Kimberly Houston (20:51.31)

. Okay, so just to kind of recap this a little bit to make sure it's sticking for you. Being in conversation with your life means you're paying attention to patterns, yours and others. You're noticing repeated things in your life. You're tracking what energizes you versus drains you. If you need like hard concrete way to do that, I'm going to put down in the show notes a video to my time and energy audit.

and this is something that I do. I'm doing this frequently now as I used to when I first learned about this a couple of years ago when I was working on my second master's degree. But doing it time and energy audit helped me know when was the best time for me to be working and when wasn't. That way I'm not sitting at my desk for eight hours a day being completely unproductive. I work during my peak times. So if you want to know more about that, that is going to be down in the show notes.

So you're tracking what energizes you versus what drains you. And then you're adjusting when something fills off. You're not waiting for permission. You're adjusting when something fills off. This also means that you are not shocked when something aligned shows up. Like, of course it is. You did the work. You put yourself in a direct path of this thing that is coming to you. Of course it did. If you can't tell, that is a new phrase.

that has been happening in my life recently is that of course it did and not just for me, for clients, for friends, for my children. Hey mom, this just happened. Of course it did. Of course it did. You know, like yes, I am excited for you and congratulations and we'll get there. But also of course it did. This is not shocking to me. This is the work you've been doing. Why are you shocked? This is what you've been calling in. Why are you shocked? This is what you've been manifesting. Why are you shocked?

Right? And so instead of being like, my God, I can't believe this happened. Yeah, I can. I did the work. I totally believe this happened because of course it did. Right. And you are now ready for it. So that leads us into divine timing. Divine timing doesn't necessarily have to be mystical. I believe that I used to think when I was super heavy into church growing up that divine timing meant God was in control of everything. And

Kimberly Houston (23:15.252)

I think that as an adult, my vision, my views on that has changed. Divine timing is not about sitting still and waiting for some outside being to do something for you. It's about doing the work. It's about becoming clearer. It's about refining your standards. And it is about releasing what no longer fits. It is about releasing.

what no longer fits and that's the key one because once you let go the things that no longer serve you now you have the space to bring in the things that do. Okay so some thoughts for you to consider is where have you said of course recently and if you haven't I want you to start paying attention to that to see where you can say that. Another thought to consider what showed up that made sense in hindsight what has happened in the last 30 days that when you think back on it you're like

Well, that's why that happened. And what if it wasn't luck, babe? What if you actually just did the work and now you're reaping the benefits of the harvest? And what if that was alignment meeting preparation? What if you being in full alignment with the life that you want finally met the preparation you've been doing?

Kimberly Houston (24:38.59)

My hope for you is that you know and understand that alignment isn't mysterious. It's not something available to other people. That's not you. It is something that is available to you. The more aligned you become, the less chaotic your life will feel. Not because nothing unexpected happens, but because when it does, you will recognize it. And maybe the real work isn't trying to predict the future. Maybe the work

is becoming someone that your future can recognize. Until next time, stay sweet friends.